I have to say that I love the following quote from Tepper that is within Lu’s article. “I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant” (Tepper, 2003: 6).
Huh? Precisely!
Isn’t that the classic example of how we can easily misunderstand each other (even on a face to face basis)? Yes. Failure to listen can cause some communication issues but this seems to be a bit of an understatement. If we look at it from a practical angle, what hope do we have for lucidity in this super fast society filled with text messages, email and voicemail?
I believe that I could be classified as a face to face listener for two reasons: I have terrible hearing and I prefer to look at a person while they speak to avoid misunderstanding and I dislike mediums such as email because it is very easy to type in a manner that appears either too blunt and aggressive or lacks any semblance of finesse. It is altogether too easy to forget one’s manners in this format. Needless to say, I shoot off at least 2 dozen emails a day because that is how the world turns. For every email I send, two are received asking for further clarification.
Well, as Lu mentioned, the skill of the sender, clarity in intent/purpose/ staging of the message all factor into how well a communication is received and interpreted. That is why I prefer snail mail and fireside chats. Speak softly and carry a big stick.
Lu, Jianying. (2005). The listening style inventory (LSI) as an instrument for improving listening skill. Sino-US English Teaching, 2 (5) 45-50.
Tepper, D. The Art of Caring and the Skill of Listening. PT: Magazine of Physical Therapy. 2003, 11(4): 6.
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